Author Topic: Cross post on a light-hearted look at 1.0.6  (Read 3469 times)

Offline Rubino

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Cross post on a light-hearted look at 1.0.6
« on: December 02, 2008, 09:57:42 AM »
From: http://vnboards.ign.com/warhammer_online_age_of_reckoning_general_board/b22997/109595049/p1/?4

Quote
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable
level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
*
P: Aircraft handles funny.
(I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last...
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammmer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.



Wii Console: 8123-9969-5753-1865

Offline Gunnarr

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Re: Cross post on a light-hearted look at 1.0.6
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2008, 01:57:23 PM »
L O L !
"There is no Planet B." (Seen on a banner at Copenhagen)
Quoted for brilliance.

Offline Goatboy

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Re: Cross post on a light-hearted look at 1.0.6
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2008, 06:56:26 PM »
I lost my breath over that one. Hilariouso.
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Offline Axenar

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Re: Cross post on a light-hearted look at 1.0.6
« Reply #3 on: December 03, 2008, 06:46:11 PM »
I love these too, shame every time I read them over the last 10 years it's a different airline that they're allegedly from and each of those airlines is the only one never to have had a major accident!!! Me thinks Urban Legen here. Still funny though.