Author Topic: A 20 inch cavas print of Paul Ross  (Read 2957 times)


Offline Mangala

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Re: A 20 inch cavas print of Paul Ross
« Reply #1 on: December 27, 2008, 06:19:29 PM »
* Mangala is left speechless.

Thats totally surreal.
"May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk."


Offline Baptiste

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Re: A 20 inch cavas print of Paul Ross
« Reply #2 on: December 27, 2008, 07:42:59 PM »
96 reviews for this item and rapidly growing !

Offline Warcold

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Re: A 20 inch cavas print of Paul Ross
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2008, 11:55:19 AM »
did you read this one-star review?   :D


A terrifying ordeal, 16 Dec 2008
By    Mr. J. Gomm
As a long-term Paul Ross devotee, I bought one of these for the priome spot above the mantelpiece in our living room. It looked fantastic, and made for a wonderul conversation piece, people would comment on the incredible realism and how it seemd to be "almost alive", and the usual cliche about "the eyes really follow you round the room". But it WAS very lifelike, and sometimes when I entered the room and glanced at the picture it was as if Paul was up to something, as if he had just been moving about and jumped back into his stationary postion upon my entrance. I found myself darting into the room to try to catch him in the act, but I was never quite fast enough.

One night I returned home from work to find my wife sitting on the couch, seemingly staring into space. At first I thought she was watching TV but it was switched off. Her face was fixed in an expression of mild dismay, like someone who has reluctantly accepted a terrible fate. I waved my hand in front of her face, to no response. I pinched her gently on the arm. Nothing. Slightly harder. Not a flinch. I was shaking by this point, and about to dial for an ambulance, when I realised she was not staring into space at all. I followed the direction of her gaze, and to my horror I realise she was staring straight into the malevolent eyes of Paul Ross's image.

Quickly I leapt to the canvas, and clawed at it with my fingernails, tearing through it's surprisingly high quality lacquered finish in a blind panic, trying not to catch his eyes in fear that I too would fall under his evil spell. When eventually the picture was nothing but tattered shards, I turned around to see that my wife was woozily coming to, and her ordeal was coming to an end, his icy grip on her heart was loosened just in time.

Please, even though it is so appealing and such great value for a high quality item, resist temptation and do not buy this picture lest you to come to the same fate, and perhaps by the time someone comes to your aid it will be too late.
'Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future.'

'We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.
The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.'


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Offline Baptiste

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Re: A 20 inch cavas print of Paul Ross
« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2008, 06:35:37 PM »
Also from the same sellers,

A photo of a British  Nationalist Party election victory
http://www.amazon.co.uk/BNP-elections-Burnley-Canvas-40x30cm/dp/B001BMGMK8/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&s=kitchen&qid=1230487022&sr=1-6

A print of Adolph Hitler (!)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/ADOLF-HITLER-1939-Canvas-Print/dp/B001AUDUPG/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=kitchen&qid=1230487499&sr=1-3

And a CAT scan of erectile tissue
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Penis-erectile-tissue-SEM-Science/dp/B001D8Z67U/ref=sr_1_14?ie=UTF8&s=kitchen&qid=1230487615&sr=1-14

A review for this item:
Amazed by the potency of the print, I tied some string to the
corners and looped it over my head, so that the canvas would swing from
my back like a cape. I now walk the streets, attracting women of all
shapes and widths, who follow behind me in a line, jaws slackened. I
lead them into the river like a merry pied piper, and watch from the
shore as they struggle and drown in the torrent. So far I've cleared 6
towns of their women, and I even had a phone-call from Garth Crooks
thanking me for taking care of his wife. I did, and I particularly
enjoyed her balmy skin and damp nose.