Author Topic: Thesis: esthetics, grammar etc.  (Read 9647 times)

Offline Warcold

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Thesis: esthetics, grammar etc.
« on: June 09, 2011, 01:16:24 PM »
Don't know how often I'll need it, but made a topic for it anyhoo.

What is grammatically/esthetically better?

Quote
In our sample, when compared to the other age groups, patients aged 20-34 are diagnosed with latent PPO less frequently (0% vs. 4% and 1.6%) and patients aged 35-49 are diagnosed with a latent PPO more frequently (4% vs. 0% and 1.6%). Patients aged 50-64 are diagnosed with low level BPO more frequently, compared to patients in the other age groups (29.5% vs. 20% and 17%).

or

Quote
In our sample, when compared to the other age groups, patients aged 20-34 less frequently are diagnosed with latent PPO (0% vs. 4% and 1.6%) and patients aged 35-49 more frequently are diagnosed with a latent PPO (4% vs. 0% and 1.6%). Patients aged 50-64 more frequently are diagnosed with low level BPO, compared to patients in the other age groups (29.5% vs. 20% and 17%).

Or am I doing it all wrong and is it more/less frequent?


Esp. looking at you here Garry, with your 'pointing out mistakes'-skillzzz  :P
'Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future.'

'We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.
The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.'


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Offline Warcold

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Re: Thesis: esthetics, grammar etc.
« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2011, 01:45:42 PM »
hmm, just thought of a 3rd option, conf. Dutch grammar: 'are less frequently diagnosed with'
'Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future.'

'We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.
The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.'


http://warthunder.com/en/registration?r=userinvite_3240166

Offline Goatboy

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Re: Thesis: esthetics, grammar etc.
« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2011, 01:47:12 PM »
1st = fine
2nd = wrong
3rd = meh
Daikini of the House Goat, the First of His Name, The Unmilked, Queen of the Meadow, The Chickens and the Pigs, Queen of the Field, Nibbler of the Great Grass Sea, Protector of the Wub, Lady Regent of the Seven Barns, Breaker of Fences and Mother of Ducklings.

Offline Warcold

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Re: Thesis: esthetics, grammar etc.
« Reply #3 on: June 09, 2011, 02:22:49 PM »
cheers  :)

initially had 2nd, then changed to 1st, but wasnt 100% sure
when 3rd option came to my mind I was even less sure  ;)
'Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future.'

'We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.
The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.'


http://warthunder.com/en/registration?r=userinvite_3240166

Offline Goatboy

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Re: Thesis: esthetics, grammar etc.
« Reply #4 on: June 09, 2011, 02:41:35 PM »
Good luck with the writing. Never had to do one myself, but did spell check two of the gf's. The horror.
Daikini of the House Goat, the First of His Name, The Unmilked, Queen of the Meadow, The Chickens and the Pigs, Queen of the Field, Nibbler of the Great Grass Sea, Protector of the Wub, Lady Regent of the Seven Barns, Breaker of Fences and Mother of Ducklings.

Offline Warcold

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Re: Thesis: esthetics, grammar etc.
« Reply #5 on: June 09, 2011, 03:01:53 PM »
Yeah, just found out that two weeks ago I changed something in my analyses that put 80 (out of 357) out of action (and yeah, silly me, I didnt notice before). So may have to do the analyses AGAIN  ::)
It's not that I deleted the cases or something, but it does mean I have to (re)edit 2 pages of results, which is just annoying and a few hours down the drain.

Writing theses/thesises won't ever become my hobby, that's for sure.
'Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future.'

'We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.
The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.'


http://warthunder.com/en/registration?r=userinvite_3240166

Offline Caradir

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Re: Thesis: esthetics, grammar etc.
« Reply #6 on: June 09, 2011, 03:14:45 PM »
Quote
In our sample, when compared to the other age groups, patients aged 20-34 are diagnosed with latent PPO less frequently (0% vs. 4% and 1.6%) and patients aged 35-49 are diagnosed with a latent PPO more frequently (4% vs. 0% and 1.6%). Patients aged 50-64 are diagnosed with low level BPO more frequently, compared to patients in the other age groups (29.5% vs. 20% and 17%).
 

 is best Grammatically but only if your writing in english :) i has no idea about grammar roolz in your native tongue :)
"Banking was conceived in iniquity and was born in sin. The bankers own the earth. Take it away from them, but leave them the power to create money, and with the flick of the pen they will create enough deposits to buy it back again. However, take away from them the power to create money and all the great fortunes like mine will disappear and they ought to disappear, for this would be a happier and better world to live in. But, if you wish to remain the slaves of bankers and pay the cost of your own slavery, let them continue to create money." Josiah Stamp (Governor Bank of England 1928-41)

Offline Warcold

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Re: Thesis: esthetics, grammar etc.
« Reply #7 on: June 09, 2011, 03:21:02 PM »
I am writing it in English
'Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future.'

'We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.
The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.'


http://warthunder.com/en/registration?r=userinvite_3240166

Offline Caradir

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Re: Thesis: esthetics, grammar etc.
« Reply #8 on: June 09, 2011, 03:30:23 PM »
I am writing it in English

then there ya go :P

and heres your intro

blah blah much bollocks to come blah blah :D :D :D :D
"Banking was conceived in iniquity and was born in sin. The bankers own the earth. Take it away from them, but leave them the power to create money, and with the flick of the pen they will create enough deposits to buy it back again. However, take away from them the power to create money and all the great fortunes like mine will disappear and they ought to disappear, for this would be a happier and better world to live in. But, if you wish to remain the slaves of bankers and pay the cost of your own slavery, let them continue to create money." Josiah Stamp (Governor Bank of England 1928-41)

Offline Warcold

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Re: Thesis: esthetics, grammar etc.
« Reply #9 on: July 27, 2011, 11:44:00 AM »
So, got (quite) some corrections on my thesis.
Somewhere along the line the first reader suggests this sentence.

Quote

The findings also suggest that the severity of symptomatology that a patient reports on a self-report is not so much related to the Axis I diagnosis, but rather to the level of PO of that patient.


Wondering about the underlined part. Not so much, or not as much?
'Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future.'

'We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.
The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.'


http://warthunder.com/en/registration?r=userinvite_3240166

Offline Warcold

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Re: Thesis: esthetics, grammar etc.
« Reply #10 on: July 27, 2011, 02:33:56 PM »
*bumpity*
'Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future.'

'We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.
The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.'


http://warthunder.com/en/registration?r=userinvite_3240166

Offline Mangala

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Re: Thesis: esthetics, grammar etc.
« Reply #11 on: July 27, 2011, 02:39:54 PM »
*bumpity*

That sentence gave me a headache earlier when I read it.

I don't like either of the possible inserts you have, but yet I cannot for the life of me, think of a viable alternate.  As for the actual question to be honest, either/or although not so works better and should read better - I still am trying to think of an alternate to either though.

"May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk."


Offline Caradir

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Re: Thesis: esthetics, grammar etc.
« Reply #12 on: July 27, 2011, 02:46:12 PM »
impatient

ive been thinking about it

think your focus is on the wrong part of the sentence, as nothing is really wrong with that section as is. My thought is you use of rather is a weak adjective

The findings also suggest that the severity of symptomatology that a patient reports on a self-report is not so much related to the Axis I diagnosis, but more accurately the level of PO of that patient.

"Banking was conceived in iniquity and was born in sin. The bankers own the earth. Take it away from them, but leave them the power to create money, and with the flick of the pen they will create enough deposits to buy it back again. However, take away from them the power to create money and all the great fortunes like mine will disappear and they ought to disappear, for this would be a happier and better world to live in. But, if you wish to remain the slaves of bankers and pay the cost of your own slavery, let them continue to create money." Josiah Stamp (Governor Bank of England 1928-41)

Offline Warcold

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Re: Thesis: esthetics, grammar etc.
« Reply #13 on: July 27, 2011, 03:51:05 PM »
impatient

Sorry, but thought thread had maybe been 'snowed under' by vid and image threads.

Thanks for your input anyway. I'll leave it as is then.

And I think 'more accurately' is too strong a way to put it. Thx though...
'Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future.'

'We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.
The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.'


http://warthunder.com/en/registration?r=userinvite_3240166

Offline Warcold

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Re: Thesis: esthetics, grammar etc.
« Reply #14 on: August 25, 2011, 11:55:08 AM »
I had to seriously redo the first part of my introduction, but now I just cant see if it still makes sense or not. Going over the same text over and over makes you blind to stuff.

Is this piece of text still logical and understandable? (esp first two paragraphs?)

--------------

Mental health care patients with one and the same DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders – 4th ed.; American Psychiatric Association, 1994) classification may differ considerably concerning underlying dynamics, etiopathogenic characteristics (Luyten & Blatt, 2007; Westen, Sheldler, & Bradley, 2006) and trait profiles. Therefore no psychological or psychopharmacological treatment has an efficacy of 100% for any single disorder and consequently one particular treatment protocol might not work for every patient (van Kalmthout, 2008). One can imagine that when a patient does not match the profile on which the treatment protocol was based, this may result in an unsuccessful treatment or a treatment that lasts longer than expected and thus in a more costly treatment and prolonged suffering for the patient.

The (false) assumption of homogeneity was already recognized almost 50 years ago as the ‘assumption of uniformity’ or the idea that “patients at the start of treatment are more alike than they are different” (Colby, 1964, p. 359) while in fact patients are “much more different than they are alike” (Kiesler, 1966, p. 111)). In other words: Using only manifest phenomena, such as in the descriptive/categorical diagnosis of the DSM-IV, which underscores high reliability at the cost of validity (Gray, 2007), does not result in homogeneous groups. Because of the differences between patients with one and the same classification clinicians should not solely rely on the descriptive/categorical assessment of the DSM-IV, but also on the structural/dynamic assessment (Kernberg & Caligor, 2005) as is currently acknowledged in the new proposals for the assessment of personality pathology for DSM-5 (see www.DSM5.org; Skodol et al. 2011).

Structural/dynamic assessment is largely based on psychodynamic theory and assumes personality has an organization (Westen, 2000). This concept of personality organization describes the interdependency of affects, motives, cognition and behavior (Westen, 2000) and finds it’s origin in infancy when the perception of self and others develops by (partially) completing two tasks: In the earliest stages of a child’s development the child does not yet see a distinction between itself and the world around it: the whole world is an extension of itself, fulfilling all of its needs. The first task in the formation of identity is learning to make the distinction between self and objects - significant others, such as parents and/or caregivers, who appear to have their own needs and goals. The second task in the development is the integration of good and bad aspects of objects and of the self: the contradictory positive and negative affects which are at first seen as two different objects (‘splitting’) are integrated in whole entities that have both good and bad qualities (Mitchel & Black, 1995; Eurelings-Bontekoe, Onnink, Williams, & Snellen, 2008). According to Kernberg (1994) the strength of the personality structure depends on how well these developmental tasks have been accomplished.  The outcome of these developmental tasks can be measured using three dimensions: identity integration vs. identity diffusion, defense mechanisms (predominantly mature/neurotic vs. predominantly primitive) and reality testing (absent, frail or good) (Kernberg & Caligor, 2005; Eurelings-Bontekoe, et al., 2008). These dimensions can be used to distinguish three personality organizations: neurotic (NPO), borderline (BPO) and psychotic (PPO; Kernberg, 1975), where the NPO represents the strongest and the PPO the weakest personality structure.
« Last Edit: August 25, 2011, 11:57:52 AM by Warcold »
'Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future.'

'We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.
The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.'


http://warthunder.com/en/registration?r=userinvite_3240166