Author Topic: Random tech support funny  (Read 3214 times)

Offline Goatboy

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Random tech support funny
« on: December 09, 2008, 12:56:20 PM »
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5..0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
·        Romance 9.5 and
·        Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as

·        NBA 5.0,
·        NFL 3.0  and
·        Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

·        Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.


DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind,
·        Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
·        Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter co mmand: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install the  Guilt 3.0 update.
·        If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to  Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
·        Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
·       Cooking 3.0 and
·       Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

Tech Support

Daikini of the House Goat, the First of His Name, The Unmilked, Queen of the Meadow, The Chickens and the Pigs, Queen of the Field, Nibbler of the Great Grass Sea, Protector of the Wub, Lady Regent of the Seven Barns, Breaker of Fences and Mother of Ducklings.

Offline Gunnarr

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Re: Random tech support funny
« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2008, 11:59:25 PM »
"There is no Planet B." (Seen on a banner at Copenhagen)
Quoted for brilliance.

Offline Caradir

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Re: Random tech support funny
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2008, 12:20:21 AM »
har har

"send him to the store to buy an iMac, its a computer for idiots"


:D
"Banking was conceived in iniquity and was born in sin. The bankers own the earth. Take it away from them, but leave them the power to create money, and with the flick of the pen they will create enough deposits to buy it back again. However, take away from them the power to create money and all the great fortunes like mine will disappear and they ought to disappear, for this would be a happier and better world to live in. But, if you wish to remain the slaves of bankers and pay the cost of your own slavery, let them continue to create money." Josiah Stamp (Governor Bank of England 1928-41)