Author Topic: A note on Ship droids  (Read 1926 times)

Offline Caradir

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A note on Ship droids
« on: January 27, 2012, 12:13:05 PM »
Seems people moaning about the craptitude of C2-N2 wrote a ticket, here is the reply they received.

I love it.

Quote
Dear Sir,

I am writing to you in response to your complaint about our product, the C2-N2 droid. We regret that you are experiencing difficulties with this award winning, state of the art household droid.

Sadly, we have to inform you, that the C2-N2 droid, and its Imperial counterpart, the 2V-R8 autonomous ship maintenance unit, are not rated for combat at this time.

Several regrettable incidents, including the loss of a full squad of SIS operatives (apparently triggered by a malfunctioning speech unit voicing its congratulations to the undercover team during a deep cover infiltration mission), have lead the Republic Technical Support Corps to revoke the combat certification from these units and forced us to replace the 'advanced weapon and martial training ROM' from the programming of the unit.

These facts have been clearly disclosed to customers at time of sale, as well as in the programmatic introductory conversation program voiced upon owner transfer.

For this reason, we cannot take responsibility for your problems.

We are however pleased to announce that future updates to the unit's artificial intelligence core will dramatically increase the efficiency of it's emergency medical protocol features - and add some other, more questionable features.

The C2 Droid Corporation is also pleased to announce that we have started investigations into a new line of droid casings and cores, aimed at improving the efficiency of the unit's assembly and construction features. No official release date for this line of top end equipment has been determined at this point.

We thank you for your interest in our product.

The Management

C2-N2 - The only thing that crits is his voice in your earchannel!
"Banking was conceived in iniquity and was born in sin. The bankers own the earth. Take it away from them, but leave them the power to create money, and with the flick of the pen they will create enough deposits to buy it back again. However, take away from them the power to create money and all the great fortunes like mine will disappear and they ought to disappear, for this would be a happier and better world to live in. But, if you wish to remain the slaves of bankers and pay the cost of your own slavery, let them continue to create money." Josiah Stamp (Governor Bank of England 1928-41)

Offline Goatboy

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Re: A note on Ship droids
« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2012, 12:59:55 PM »
Luls. Now log on and play with me.  :D
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Offline Chug

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Re: A note on Ship droids
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2012, 12:23:16 PM »
I hope they put an option in so you can change the ship robot to 'Non Twat' mode. Deary me, it annoys the shit out of me lol

Offline Warcold

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Re: A note on Ship droids
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2012, 06:42:02 PM »
I'd like me to be able to rip out his 'vocal cords'. Would help a lot.
'Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future.'

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The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.'


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Offline Mangala

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Re: A note on Ship droids
« Reply #4 on: January 29, 2012, 01:13:15 PM »
I'd like me to be able to rip out his 'vocal cords'. Would help a lot.
"May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk."